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Alcoholism – Alcoholic Family Members Roles and Their Feelings in Kelowna, BC

Alcoholic Family Members Roles and Their Feelings, Thoughts and Emotions. – Kelowna, BC

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Every member of the alcoholic family takes part in different roles and functions in the alcohol addiction. All roles in this dynamic serve a purpose and objective to continue the family chaos. Without having help and assistance, children will really feel obligated to fill certain roles, ongoing unhealthy patterns into their adult years because of a lack of and deficiencies in healthy family boundaries or limitations. Some specific alcoholic family roles consist of:

Alcohol addiction (alcoholism) and drug addiction in Kelowna

The Alcoholic – The person in the family with the alcohol addiction. Alcoholism does not happen or occur overnight, it is really a gradual process which starts sociably. When the alcoholic understands that they can avoid or prevent uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings by using alcohol, consumption of alcohol increases. Quickly, alcohol will become part of the alcoholic’s every day functioning and they cannot function without it.

The Enabler – The enabler helps the actual alcoholic continue the addiction of choice. By way of example, they will purchase alcohol and bring it to the home for the actual alcoholic. The motive or reason is to keep the alcoholic in the house instead of them going to the bar. The enabler will additionally cover up for the alcoholic’s behaviors, conduct and actions. For instance, he or she will call the actual alcoholic’s boss or employer to make excuses and reasons why the alcoholic is missing work. They will also excuse the alcoholics’ behavior and conduct. Limited protection is going to be offered to the kids, but the enabler’s loyalty and devotion is towards the actual alcoholic before the kids. The enabler believes and thinks that they are in control of the alcoholics drinking and behavior.

Al-Anon and Alateen Group Meetings on Alcoholism - Frequently Asked Questions – Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

The Hero – This particular individual, typically the oldest child, changes places with the enabler when the actual enabler is unavailable. They are performance oriented along with being a high achiever. The family looks to this particular person as the one which will be successful and get out of the family dynamic. This particular child will look and search for ways to escape from the household through achievements and academe. Heroes are hard to love due to the fact these people appear tough, strong and like they need or require nothing or no one. This actual unhealthy and harmful cycle continues because heroes tend to be emotionally detached similar to their alcoholic parent.

The Scapegoat or Whipping boy – This child will identify with the alcoholic, although their hatred for their alcoholic parent will be frequently voiced. They will be the one to experiment with drugs or alcohol, proclaiming that they will never be like their alcoholic mother or father. An alcoholic parent uses this child like a distraction from their very own issues and problems with their spouse. This sends a direct message that the alcoholic parent dislikes this particular child. This child is the most likely to replicate the actual alcoholic parent’s pattern of alcohol or drug abuse.

Teens Living with Alcohol addiction in Kelowna

The Clown – This particular child will learn how to use humor like a defense mechanism in order to diffuse conflict. They learn to draw attention away from their parent’s arguments by causing a nuisance or even funny antics in the center of hostile situations and circumstances. In school, they are called the class clown or buffoon and are well liked by their classmates. Regrettably, they will carry on this defense mechanism through adulthood. They will never seem or appear serious as they are usually hiding behind the actual mask of humor.

The Lost Child – This particular child, occasionally the youngest or the quietest, is usually left alone inside the chaotic family dynamic. This child does not create or produce as much noise as the other siblings and as well as demands very little attention from the parents. The parents may assume that things are ok with this particular child since they are not acting like the other children. When this child gets older, feelings of emptiness will develop and build up from the lack of interaction and attention.

Aldults Living with Alcohol addiction in Kelowna

Even though these roles happen to be documented as distinct and unique children, it is quite possible for one child to experience various roles in their own lifetime. For instance, the hero in early childhood can easily get to be the scapegoat as a young adult once they fail out of school, experiments with alcohol or displeases their parents in whatever way.

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How Alcoholism Impacts and Effects the Family in Kelowna, BC

How does Alcoholism impact and effect the Family?

An alcoholic household atmosphere and surroundings are characterized and known by chaos, mayhem, unpredictability, volatility, hostility, violence, fear, and loneliness. Substance abuse and dependency in the home has a devastating and disastrous impact on just about all the members of the household, not just the actual alcoholic. Alcohol becomes the main source or focal point in the family circle. Young children, fueled and motivated by embarrassment, humiliation, shame or even a desire to protect and safeguard the alcoholic mother or father from being hurt or injured, will learn to protect and guard their family secret.

Alcohol addiction (alcoholism) and drug addiction in Kelowna

The spouse and all the children in the family of an alcoholic struggle and have difficulty with the roundabout or direct messages that they receive from the alcoholic family member, each of which has a psychological negative impact and effect. The damage and harm done by an alcoholic mother or father is vast and substantial. Alcoholics have a tendency for high expectations of others, including their very own children. When these types of expectations are not really met, the alcoholic will become angry and upset and withhold love and affection. This indirectly conveys to the child that they’re bad and unlovable. Youngsters are constantly seeking the actual approval of their own mother and father, especially within their early years, and alcoholics have trouble and difficulty giving this to their children.

Al-Anon and Alateen Group Meetings on Alcoholism - Frequently Asked Questions – Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

Alcoholics struggle and have a problem with expressing accurate emotions and feelings. Alcoholics will have emotional outbursts, crying, sobbing, rage and even excitement; however their own emotions are generally impacted and influenced by intoxication and drunkenness. They have a ‘blackened or whitened’ way of thinking and therefore are unable to move around in gray areas. This way of thinking is either just about all bad or all good as it relates and pertains to situations and scenarios, with absolutely no room for flexibility or freedom. For children, flexibility and freedom is key in understanding and knowing that mistakes tend to be part of the learning process and do not equal failure. For instance, an alcoholic may directly communicate frustration and aggravation through name calling or shaming the child in public, which also conveys that they’re bad and unacceptable.

Teens Living with Alcohol addiction in Kelowna

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Weekend Warrior/Binge and Excessive Alcohol Drinker – Kelowna, BC

What Kind of Alcohol Drinker Are You? (PART 2)

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d) Weekend, Saturday and Sunday, End of the week Warrior/Binge and Excessive Drinker

This drinker and enthusiast is dormant throughout the week but comes alive on Friday at happy hour. These kinds of people binge drink in order to forget about what went down during the week or to reward themselves for the work or job they did all week long. There is a very good probability that this particular drinker will not really remember what occurred or transpired the night prior to. They do not drink alcohol for taste or flavor; they only have one goal in their mind. They believe and feel that there’s no point associated with drinking if you aren’t getting drunk. Nevertheless, once they awaken on Sunday, they’ll be feeling the aftermath and consequences of their binge or excessive drinking. They usually start the recovery process with a glass or two of alcohol in order to wean themselves. Even so, when Monday arrives, they transform themselves; they will not drink until next Friday after work once again.

Alcohol addiction (alcoholism) and drug addiction in Kelowna

The binge drinker’s habits and routines may negatively affect their own health and fitness because they’re indulging in alcohol consumption so frequently. The fact, which they believe and feel that they should get drunk, indicates and signifies the thought process of an alcoholic, into addiction and alcoholism. This form or type of addictive behavior and conduct will lead to chronic alcohol use.

e) Alcoholic

These types of drinkers will consume alcohol constantly non-stop. They will usually drink alone, keep their homes full of alcohol and may actually hide bottles of alcohol all over the house. When they run out of or exhaust their alcohol supply they will go to extreme lengths to obtain and acquire alcohol. Their consumption of alcohol will affect relationships, employment, and work, educational and academic goals. They may have been arrested for driving while impaired or may have gotten in additional legal troubles because of their drinking.

Al-Anon and Alateen Group Meetings on Alcoholism - Frequently Asked Questions – Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

Commonly, alcoholics believe it is hard to cope and deal with their problems and difficulties without having a drink. These chronic and persistent drinkers have created and developed a physical dependence and need to drink to prevent and avoid feeling withdrawal signs and symptoms. In many cases the alcoholic may not actually want to consume alcohol anymore but fear and concern with withdrawal fuels the continual and ceaseless drinking. Alcoholism leads to severe physical health and medical issues requiring a medical detoxification to get rid of the alcohol.

Teens Living with Alcohol addiction in Kelowna

Patterns and Behaviors associated with Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

These drinking patterns and behaviors range from exactly what may seem ‘safe and secure’ to alcohol addiction. Even so, no matter how safe you think or believe your drinking habits and routines are, it is a slippery slope to alcohol addiction and alcoholism. Treatment for alcohol addiction can help stop the downward spin out of control of alcoholism.

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Alcohol Effects on Your Body – Alcohol Treatment in Kelowna, BC

How Alcohol affects your body from Alcohol addiction, and the effects, results, and abuse of this deadly poison.

Your body’s liver metabolizes alcohol and sends it to the human brain along with other organs through the bloodstream. Your liver can soak up only a little bit of alcohol at the same time, leaving the others to circulate through the entire body. Alcohol is known as a central nervous program depressant also it reduces your heart rate and breathing and slows mind activity. This impacts your brain’s capability to react to messages and function usually.

Alcohol addiction (alcoholism) and drug addiction in Kelowna

The consequences of alcohol on your own body begin immediately. You’ll experience:

1) Confusion
2) Loss of coordination
3) Lack of body heat despite emotions of warmth
4) Reduced inhibitions
5) Reduced reaction time
6) Slurred speech

Al-Anon and Alateen Group Meetings on Alcoholism - Frequently Asked Questions – Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

Long-term alcoholic addiction and misuse causes these effects:

1) Cancers (liver, mouth area, throat and larynx)
2) Depression
3) Inflammation of the pancreas
4) Liver cirrhosis (scarring)
5) Unintentional injuries

Drinking large levels of alcohol in a brief period of time (binging), could cause alcohol poisoning, even the very first time. Alcohol poisoning can be hugely dangerous and can result in death or even treated early.

Teens Living with Alcohol addiction in Kelowna

Your body’s reaction to alcohol poisoning range from:

1) Dangerously low blood sugar
2) Difficulty breathing
3) Loss of consciousness
4) Seizures
5) Vomiting

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Motivational and Inspirational Interviewing Treatment and Therapy in Kelowna, British Columbia

Motivational interviewing therapies and inspirational interviewing treatment methods in Kelowna, British Columbia – Options Okanagan Treatment Center

Motivational and Inspirational Interviewing is a therapy and treatment, a way of helping an individual to set and establish goals and engage the individual in their personal life changes.  This can be a strength-based approach and strategy.

Teens battling (alcoholism) and drug addiction in Kelowna

The basic principles associated with Motivational Interviewing is actually focused entirely on 3 key ideas: alliance/connections between the therapist or counselor and the affected individuals, as opposed to confrontation and conflict by the therapist or counselor; drawing out the person’s ideas and thoughts, rather than the therapist imposing and impacting their own opinions; and as well as self- government of the individual, rather than the therapist or counselor having authority over them.

People suffering from Alcohol addiction (alcoholism) and drug addiction in Kelowna

This particularly contrasts with a number of other approaches and strategies to long-term drug treatment, which are in line with and based on the therapist challenging the individual, and imposing their own point of view about an individual’s addiction. Collaboration and relationship has the effect and result of building and creating a bond between the actual therapist or counselor and the affected individual, and this allows a person to develop trust and believe in the therapist, which can be difficult and a challenge in a very tough situation and circumstances.

Alcohol addiction (alcoholism) in Kelowna

What Do Medical Professionals Say About Al-Anon in Kelowna – Part 2

Al-Anon group meetings comes with a synergistic effect.

Al-Anon meetings develop and cultivate the ability and chance to listen, as individuals begin to differentiate and distinguish between what they expect and assume to hear and what is really being said. Considering the fact that therapy and treatment is about helping people interrupt negative early child year’s messages as to who they really are and what they are able to expect of other people, Al-Anon provides a synergistic effect when used and utilized in conjunction with psychotherapy or psychiatric therapy.

Al-Anon and Alateen Group Meetings on Alcoholism - Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

Medical professionals refer parents to Al-Anon

Medical professionals and experts refer parents to Al-Anon Family Groups once they determine that a young child has an alcohol problem or issue. Al-Anon and parenting work extremely well collectively. At Al-Anon group meetings, parents learn and discover that they are not alone dealing with substance abuse difficulties. They come to understand and comprehend more about the disease and condition of alcoholism. Additionally they learn the 12 Steps, which help and enable them to recover from the effects and consequences of their youngster’s alcoholism.

Al-Anon Group Meetings on Alcoholism - Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

Medical and Healthcare professional patients are healthier

With Al-Anon’s help and assistance, medical and health professionals and doctors have seen young children do better in their schooling, spouses sleep much better at nighttime, as well as parents stop obsessing and worrying over their grownup children. Medical professional patients are healthier and their life gets back on the right track.

Alateen Group Meetings on Alcoholism – Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

The family disease and illness of alcoholism

The family disease, illness and sickness of alcoholism and alcohol addiction exist all over the place. Every culture and way of life is unique and distinctive, but the problem and issue is the same. Because of this, medical and healthcare professionals feel that and believe Al-Anon is the very best aftercare/maintenance program and plan there is for family members and relatives of alcoholics.

Al-Anon and Alateen Family and Group Meetings on Alcoholism - Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment for Alcoholism

Al-Anon and Alateen on Alcoholism – Frequently Asked Questions – Kelowna, BC – Part 2

Al-Anon and Alateen Group Meetings on Alcoholism – Frequently Asked Questions – Kelowna, British Columbia – Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

What about problems and issues other than somebody else’s Alcohol drinking?

Al-Anon and Alateen Group Meetings on Alcoholism - Frequently Asked Questions – Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

In addition to alcohol abuse or alcoholism, newcomers as well as Al-Anon members may be worried and concerned about a relative or even a friend who has yet another kind of addiction, mental illness, mental disease, psychopathy, compulsive, addictive or problematic behavior and conduct. Even though Al-Anon’s principles and guidelines can be applied to a lot of different and distinct situations and concerns or issues, the Al-Anon program focuses and concentrates upon helping members recover from and get over the effects of somebody else’s drinking problems. Newcomers as well as Al-Anon/Alateen members will also be encouraged to seek and look for help and assistance from other additional resources for their concerns and issues in addition to OR other than someone else’s drinking when needed and required.

Is Al-Anon or Alateen compatible with and suitable for the professional care, treatment and services other people offer?

Al-Anon Meetings on Alcoholism in Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Drugs and Alcoholism

Yes. Al-Anon/Alateen is a peer support and assistance group. As peers, they will exchange their respective and particular experiences. The common sharing among members helps members to realize and understand that they have a wide range of options that they may not have realized and noticed they had and experienced before participating in Al-Anon or Alateen. Al-Anon members do not really give direction or even prescribe specific solutions and alternatives for other Al-Anon or Alateen members.

Is the Al-Anon or Alateen Family Groups program religious, spiritual, faith-based, non secular?
It is spiritually-based on principles and concepts applicable to individuals from a wide selection of backgrounds and applicable and relevant to individuals regardless of and no matter what their religious beliefs or values – or lack of religious beliefs and philosophy.

What is the Al-Anon or Alateen meeting format or structure and exactly what do members talk about and discuss at these meetings?

Al-Anon Group Meetings on Alcoholism and Frequently Asked Questions in Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholics

The majority of Al-Anon and Alateen groups or organizations have a discussion or dialogue topic or subject matter at their meetings such as acceptance, toleration, overcoming and alleviating fear and concern, change, one of Al-Anon’s slogans (Easy Does It, One Day at a Time) or one of the Twelve Steps. Al-Anon and Alateen group meetings are facilitated through members, instead of a professional. Each and every week, a different fellow member chairs the meetings on a different subject or issue.

Why do Al-Anon or Alateen members continue to go to Al-Anon or Alateen after the problem drinker is in treatment, therapy, sober, attending Alcoholics Anonymous, or even no longer actively involved with the person’s life?

Al-Anon and Alateen Meetings on Alcoholism  and FAQ in Kelowna, British Columbia - Options Okanagan Treatment Center for Alcoholism

Al-Anon or Alateen is a program of self discovery and personal growth and development. Recovery is an ongoing process and isn’t tied to regardless of whether or not the problem drinker or alcoholic carries on drinking, is visibility present, or actively involved with a Al-Anon member’s life. The effects and results of somebody else’s drinking are deep and can present challenges and issues which continue throughout life.
Al-Anon and Alateen members form brand new friendships with other fellow members and often will find great personal satisfaction and fulfillment in maintaining relationships with their Al-Anon friends. Al-Anon and Alateen members also strengthen and reinforce their very own recovery and find wonderful satisfaction is sharing and discussing their application of the Al-Anon program with other newcomers to Al-Anon and Alateen.

Giving Al-Anon in BC an Attempt May Open Secret Doorways of Alcoholism and Addiction

There are people who have known many individuals and while making an attempt to help the ones they love with alcohol addiction or alcoholism have acted as some type of amateur counselor, therapist or psychologist for a long time in the hope it would help the problem drinker arrive at his or her senses. Eventually and at some point, they find themselves in a dilemma or crisis or find themselves tired, exhausted and drained of energy and unable or unwilling to assist or help anymore and wonder and ask themselves where all this talk therapies ever got them.

Eventually after many years of beseeching, entreating, praying and pleading with someone to stop their drinking, the crisis they have always feared happens and their own life is damaged or sometimes ruined.

So a key message is for anyone who loves a problem drinker is get help for oneself first or they will not only end up as obsessive and as ill as the individual in addiction, they will also be engaging in actions and behavior which will enable and permit the addicted person they love to go much deeper into his or her drug addiction .

A failure to understand where drug and alcohol addiction comes from, how it works and how individuals with serious alcohol addictions end up prevents people who love a problem drinker from really going for a solution of the problem and issues. That’s the reason Al-Anon is an absolute must for an individual or anyone whose member of the family or loved one has a problem with alcohol or drugs. That is also the main reason Al-Anon is an absolutely essential (particularly in the early days) for anyone whose family member, or loved one has developed an addiction and dependency to alcohol.

Not only is loving someone with an dependence on alcohol all consuming, exhausting and stressful, it is also one of the final social or cultural taboos and acknowledging to someone else that they have got a problem drinker in the family or they are married to an alcoholic, for example, is not really what most people feel they are able to or want to confess to. This is often due to a feeling of perceived failure, weakness or shame or simply because most men and women who do not know or love an addict are extremely unkind and unknowing towards the addiction.

There has been a popular view over the years that it is due to an addict’s insufficient willpower that lay behind the problem. So for people who love the individual with an alcohol addiction it is a double whammy or curse. Their heart is breaking inside because from the negative effects drinking is doing to their loved one and on their own life but they feel an extra attack as they do not feel as free to discuss and focus on their problem and difficulty as they would for example if their family member had an illness like cancer.

Nevertheless, Al-Anon and other family counselling groups have had the experience as a support for many years for those affected by living with, or caring about or for somebody with an alcohol addiction or drug problem. They provide a refuge where problems and issues can be discussed and talked about with individuals who understand and who are compassionate and loving. And that is not the only advantage or benefit as Al-Anon helps and aids families and friends of problem drinkers to understand, accept and acknowledge that it is not their fault or wrong doing that the person they know and love is undoubtedly an alcohol addict and that while they cannot change the mind sets from the drinker they can change their own attitudes and see positives where they only have seen darkness and sorrow before.

Al-Anon also helps and assists families and friends of alcohol addicted loved ones to understand the art of disengagement and separation and to make certain they do not enable and allow the person they love to sink more deeply into their alcohol or drug addiction.

Seeking Serenity through Al-Anon in British Columbia

At Al-Anon group meetings in Vancouver , family members, close relatives and friends of addicts come with each other to share their knowledge, understanding, experience, strength and hope. Al-Anon’s philosophy is that men and women cannot control or stop another person’s alcohol addiction. In the same way addicts who acknowledge and accept Step One of Alcoholics Anonymous declare that they are powerless over alcohol and drugs, Al-Anon members teach and educate powerlessness over loved ones and family member addictions.

However Al-Anon’s companion philosophy is that an individual is entitled to have a serene life even if a loved one chooses to keep on living in active addiction. By joining hand-in-hand and working together to share experiences and knowledge, members in Al-Anon learn and understand tools and skills for living decently, honestly and serenely whether a loved one is actively using or is within recovery. In Al-Anon, members “take what they should like and leave the rest.” What this means is that in almost every group meeting or assembly, members hear something that gives them understanding of their own behavior and attitudes.

Many people embark on Al-Anon using the outlook, expectation or hope that they will learn and understand the strategies for curing and healing a loved one’s drug or alcohol addiction. People may be disappointed and frustrated to understand and fully grasp that no such secret and technique exist. Nevertheless, a lot of people find that by gaining strength and acquiring serenity, and showing their loved ones that they trust and have confidence in them to make their very own decisions and choices, their family members often gain strength too. Whenever people become less preoccupied with a loved one’s drug addiction or dependency , addiction seems to lose its power of them. It can also be not unusual to discover that once people change their need to control and discover how to create boundaries and look after themselves, the addict also begins to change and transform and sometimes seeks help in drug and alcohol treatment centers to recover from their addictions.

There are numerous slogans people learn in Al-Anon which help them practice Al-Anon principles and guidelines in their daily lives. One favorite and preferred is “don’t just do something, sit there.” So frequently, people who worry about their addicts’ lives want to leap in and “solve” their problems. However in Al-Anon they learn to hold back before acting to make sure that what they THINK they must do is really the correct action. For instance, whenever a father or mother receives a phone call from an addicted child seeking money, shelter or some other favor, the normal reaction is to want to help or assist right away. But in Al-Anon, people learn how to sit still and think first. People learn to “give an addict the dignity of making his or her own mistakes,” for that is how addicts may become decent and responsible persons. This may be difficult, but as people share their experiences in Al-Anon they learn that “taking contrary action” is often the best help they can give their addicted family members.

Another helpful slogan is “zip your lip.” Often, an individual’s natural tendency is to provide advice, tell the addict how to proceed and how to get it done. But unless an opinion or advice is sought, they learn to simply listen and say things to the addict such as “I understand you will figure this out” or “that is very interesting.” The addict doesn’t want to be threatened, cajoled or see someone’s anger. If they know they could be listened to without being judged, communication and conversation with them remain open and, hopefully, the addict will at some point realize and recognize they CAN go to the loved one or family member for help and assistance in healing and recovery and also be accepted for who they are. As a result of Al-Anon people learn that often, the fewer questions they will ask, the greater details and selective information an addict gives them.

Al-Anon has helped many people find solutions that lead to serenity. Regardless of what an individual’s religious beliefs are or even if them lack them entirely, people are sure to find help in Al-Anon. Encircled by caring and compassionate people whose struggles are similar to others battling with addiction problems, they will learn tools and skills for taking care of themselves, setting boundaries, and achieving serenity. Just for today, decide to walk one’s own path towards serenity so that the addict can walk theirs.